Haircut Nightmare
My eye-opening experience with the ghost of haircuts past
Last night while I was looking at the beautiful harvest moon with my girlfriend I felt that all was finally right in the world. I have a beautiful woman who loves me, and who’s hair is the only thing more striking than a large orange moon in October. I thought about how lucky I was when suddenly the mood turned dark and eery. My girlfriend turned to me and said she would be cutting her hair short the next day and there was nothing I could do about it. “Nooooooo,” I screamed comically. “Why would you do that?“ ”Well because I found feminism, and I realized my hair is holding me back from my true potential at work.” She said dryly. Suddenly it was like I fell into a trance and I began to see my life flash before my eyes. What had I done to make her think this was natural? Had I been taking long hair for granted?
First I was visited by the ghost of long hair past. A beautiful woman if I did say so myself. I noticed she looked eeerily like my mother did years ago And then I realized I wS watching myself during my first memory. I was giggling joyfully and holding on to my mom’s long curls. I looked so happy just being around long hair. She passed me off to my grandma, who also has long hair
I looked so joyful and never took my hands out of their hair. A long hair lover since I was born, I thought to myself.
Next, the ghost of long hair present (my girlfriend ) took me up to a balcony where I watched her and I walking together weeks ago. I looked upset and my hand was nowhere near her hair. I saw another vision, of me yelling at her for not cleaning out the hairbrush and her running away. I reached for her but my hand went right through her. The last scene I saw was the most painful for me to watch. We were watching “Mighty Joe Young” and I accidentally said I thought Charlize Theron was hot. I mean I still think she is, but in that moment I realized she gave up incentive to maintain her long hair. She held her long hair in her hands sadly while I gawked at Charlize from the neck down. Of course, I thought, maybe she thinks I don’t care how her hair looks. Maybe she is even under the wrong impression that I like short hair or would want her to emulate Charlize Theron.
The last vision was easily the most frightening. I was visited by the ghost of short hair future, First, I was grabbed by this short haired old looking woman/ghoul. She was screaming in my face and the house was a mess. She told me I needed to do my fair share since we were equals. She wore a mumu to bed and wouldn’t kiss me goodnight, I was jolted hearing a sound so terrifying I couldn’t mistake it. It was scissors. She was cutting her hair shorter and shorter and shorter. Then she looked at me and screamed, “What are you looking at?”
Suddenly I was jolted awake. I looked next to me and caught my girlfriend’s amber waves glistening in the light. My eyes started to become wet as I knew it was all my fault she was soon going to become a man. Then I realized, I had a chance to change the future in the present. I woke up and got right to work. I bought her a ton of hair products on amazon and booked her an appointment with the best long hair stylist in town. When she woke up I offered to brace and brush her long hair for her and give her a massage. I told her to forget about the short hair cut. I would never take her long hair for granted again. I would take care of her and protect her hair at all costs and love and appreciate it. I looked lovingly into her eyes. “Well you can keep my ponytail” she snapped. I guess she had already started her transition into a man. Whenever I miss that girlfriend I will pull out that long ponytail and pet it near my neck. I may even sleep with it for comfort on nights I’ll inevitably miss her. I’m thankful that least she gave me the best part of her.