The Worst Hair on TV
These women crush societal expectations of proper female hair length. They also crush us and their full beauty potential.
10. Lisa Rinna: Everyone makes mistakes, most of us quickly forget them and move on. Unfortunately that hasn’t been the case for Lisa Rinna and she has hopelessly stuck to this outdated pixie cut mess for a little over thirty years. Lisa you’re a beautiful woman and your hair will never be relevant. Please use your money for a good cause like getting extensions.
9. Kris Jenner: Girl, come on. Your ex wife says she loves women, that is probably why you two broke up, all tea all shade. Kris, like Lisa has been firm in her stance that one bad haircut should define her. She stubbornly refuses to admit it has failed her and hasn’t tried anything new in the three decades she has been in the public eye. Perhaps she could ask one of her long-haired daughters for tips on how to grow hers out?
8. Kate Gosselin: The American public will never forgive her for this monstrosity and apparently some of her own kids and ex husband are afraid to see her. This is no coincidence, she is another victim of the collective implicit bias against short hair that tells us short haired women are implicitly thought of as mean and scary unless they go to great lengths to balance their short hair with hyper-feminization elsewhere. Sadly Kate missed this memo and continually reaffirms our biases when she bitches and moans in tv interviews or we see her in public looking angry.
7. Elizabeth Warren: While I agreed with many of her policies I couldn’t escape the fact that her worst choice was glaringly obvious to everyone except her. She clearly had a fundamental misunderstanding of the term “equality” and took it much too literally by trying to make herself look Ike a man. Bad choice.
6. Ariana Madix: She was once a promising figure in the case against short hair for women. She swept Tom Sandoval from his loveless and sexless six-year relationship with a short haired woman named Kristen Doute. Ariana was the fresh-faced, long-haired beauty that Tom needed to resuscitate his Hollywood dreams. Sadly within a few years of dating, Ariana fell victim to the mentality of getting comfortable and cutting her hair even shorter than his ex-girlfriend had. Will he tire of her and move on to another long hair? I’m sure we will find out this next season of Vanderpump Rules.
5. Heather Gee: The desperation of Heather from this seasons, “Love After Lockup” is only compounded by her bad haircut. No wonder she clings desperately to a man in prison whom she’s never even slept with, She was once a very attractive woman who for whatever reason decided to experiment with her hair resulting in a bright red pixie cut even Wendy Thompson would be ashamed of. Furthermore she clings on to Dylan’s Smith, her felon boyfriend almost as if she knows if they break up she will be doomed to years of singledom until that hair grows back.
4. Rachel Maddow: What is the point of celebrating the major success of being a woman with a prime time network news show? Rachel Maddow clearly hates being associated with femininity therefore I don’t think this is an accomplishment for women. I will continue to watch long-haired Martha Macallum.
3. Ellen Degeneres: Is anyone surprised this “woman” was exposed for being unfriendly to her staff. There’s a reason you can’t spell demanding without “man.” I agree and don’t think we should expose children to her short hair lies.
2. Robin Roberts: The only thing worse than being a short-haired woman is being a short-haired woman with a man name, making it almost impossible to discern between the two. What a poor example for young women. We are basically telling them it’s only possible to get ahead as a woman by becoming a man. How I wish we had mainstream representation of female journalists with long hair.
And the worst hair on television goes to…
- Skinhead Helen: Sadly this is a widespread tragedy across the entertainment industry. The exploitation of hair. Basically Hollywood takes a struggling actress and offers her the role of a lifetime in exchange for her long hair. It is a sick and twisted way to prey on long haired women in the name of ratings. This should be called what it is, sadism. And it leads to mental problems and interpersonal relationships later on in life.