Discussions Of Pixie Cuts
I was chatting with my Brazilian wife this morning. I love her accent and the way she regularly interjects Portuguese in our daily conversations. It’s a fun and cute way for us to learn each other’s language.
Of course staring at her long hair doesn’t hurt either. This morning in the midst of her speaking I was jolted back to reality when she started talking about wanting “um peixe” tonight. I sat up suddenly and looked upon her long, wavy dark hair. Why would anyone want to get rid of that? I married a Latin woman because of their traditional values which from what I saw of my time there, included long hair. None of this feminist, equal to men BS women of the west blindly regurgitate.
My mind Thought back to the first time I met her in Rio de Janeiro, her long hair blowing in the wind with Christ the redeemer in the background. I felt like I was looking at an angel. Once in a while it would blow forward and caress my chest leaving traces of saltwater and sand. The thought of her willfully taking this away from me and replacing it with something ugly and pointless made me angry. I found myself raising my voice with my wife. I told her no would not be getting “um peixe” not tonight, not ever. And if I ever caught her trying to get “um peixe” we would immediately divorce, and as the clause in our pre nup states, she is not allowed to cut her hair within 10 years of marriage for any reason unless it is medically necessary. After that she is on a vesting schedule, but I digress. After going into my tirade my wife looked up at me, her long hair flowing down her back and a tear in her eye. So you do not want me to eat? She cried. We both looked utterly confused until I pulled out my translator app and determined that “um peixe” actually means “a fish” we laughed about it and I was relieved to know it was just a very disturbing miscommunication tha could’ve easily meant the end of our relationship if I didn’t take the time to understand her.
So the next time your wife says she wants “a pixie” you need to stop and really listen to her. It’s not short hair she wants, it’s something completely unrelated, but she knows what words get your attention. Next time she says something of that nature I suggest cuddling up with her, playing with her long hair to remind her how important it is and ask her what she wants and needs. 9/10 even if she willfully used the “p”word or not, she will keep her long hair and you will keep your wife.